"Actions speak louder than words" - Yes AND words are very, very powerful! This last month of March as we navigated the murky depths of Pisces, so much around the words I choose to use came up. This has been coming up for a long time and recently hit me hard how much energy and potency is behind the things we say everyday. Here I want to expand on words we use mostly unconsciously everyday and how they could actually be zapping our energy without actively realizing it!
Let's not play around and just dive right in ;)
I am going to expand on several different words and phrases we use ALL THE TIME. I'm a list maker so I'm going to lay them all out right here into 3 categories to see what we'll be navigating...
Judgment vs. Observation
- Shouldn't/Should = Don't want/Want
- Right/Wrong (good/bad) = True/False
Limitation vs. Expansion
- But = And
- Either/or = Both/and
- Hate = dislike
- Sorry = thank you
Illusion vs. Power
- I can't = I don't want to, I am working on it, I can
- I am/my = Positive empowerment only
- I don't know...
1. Shouldn't/Should - "I should do that" and "I shouldn't say that". Here is the first example of what I want to reveal as 'judgment words'. Judgment words are not helpful nor productive and often leave us feeling like it's not okay to be who we are. When actually, if we chose 'observation words' and words of discernment, we would be getting much more in tune with who we are. Instead of saying "I shouldn't say that" switch the vocab up to "I didn't want to say that". This brings not only self-awareness around what you want and don't want, it also takes more self-responsibility around your words and actions (another key piece to changing our dialogue). This goes the same for "should" - "I should do that" replace with "I want to do that". Notice how much different that feels even just to read it! This sense of feeling is how you'll start to know you're living in alignment.
Okay, quick insert! We just covered a lot in just the first words of should and shouldn't. I laid out some key concepts just then that will be taking us through this entire thought journey and they are: taking self-responsibility for your words and actions, observing instead of judging, letting that observation create awareness, letting that awareness create feelings, and letting those feelings navigate you towards true alignment. The goal here is to fine tune our feelings so we can live in our truest potential and deepest alignment of self and spirit. In order to do that we need to empower ourselves which means taking full responsibility for what we think and say. Starting to switch the way we think to observation verses judgment leads us right into the next key words...
2. Right/Wrong - "I want to do what's right" and "I feel what I did was wrong". So here are some of the BIGGEST, heaviest judgment words right up there with 'good' and 'bad'. Instead of the judgment of right and wrong, let's plug in the observation of what is true and false. True and false is often very personal, so what might be true for you may not be true for another (we won't get into universal truths here, though I believe those exist too!). Instead of "I want to do what's right" lets say "I want to do what's true for me". Now here's an interesting observation, all of a sudden you're now presented with the question "what is true for me?". This is how the ball starts rolling! Self-awareness is on it's way so let the inquiry unravel. Again, the same goes for wrong - "I feel what I did was wrong" rather "I feel what I did was false to who I truly am". Who are you truly? What behaviors, values, and morals do you feel you're composed of and aligned with? Plug in observations for 'good' and 'bad' as well - keep asking questions and keep feeling into this~
Switching now into words that Limit us and our beliefs into words that Expand our minds and our hearts
3. But - "I am working on it, but I it's going well". This is a simple sentence and it gets the job done. Or I could've said, "this is a simple sentence, but it gets the job done". The difference here using 'and' in replacement of 'but' is that 'but' actually disregards most of the first part of what we just said. It limits us to the second half of what we are saying (and ultimately doing) leaving us only in part of our truth. When we add 'and' we can now exist in and mean all of what we just said; all of it can be true: "I am working on it..." (yes, that is true) "AND it's going well" - again, also true. You can have BOTH, it doesn't need to be one or the other which brings me into the next set of words...
4. Either/or - I feel this is actually more of a concept than a natural usage of words or phrases. This is the idea that you are either strong or soft or this or that. You can be (and often are) both strong and soft, this and that. Are you either masculine or feminine or are you both masculine and feminine? Are you either a teacher or a student or are you both a teacher and a student? Are you living either in your mind or in your heart or are you living in both your mind and your heart? You can start practicing with this in your awareness and thoughts, and notice your delivery when vocalizing such ideas aloud.
5. Hate - This is a big one... This isn't even so much about the meaning of the word, but the culture of the word. Hate by definition means to intensely and passionately dislike something. I would say when you're aware to go ahead and just use it's definition when you feel like you 'hate' something. Even something as simple as "I hate when I leave my keys in the car" - maybe try conscious practice and say "I severely dislike when I leave my keys in the car". They say how you do one thing is the way you do everything, so if we remove hate from one area of our lives we could remove hate from all areas of our lives. Removing hate from our lives is the first step in removing it from our culture and the collective consciousness/unconscious.
6. Sorry - Okay, let's all be honest, that especially in American western culture we all can be a bit excessive with the word "sorry". I have been dealing with this one for awhile now and has been one of the hardest to shake. First off, are we really truly sorry? That's the first inquiry. The second is are we using this as a way to dissociate with the space we were divinely given? What do I mean by that? For example, you've had a rough day and begin talking with your friend about it; in fact you start talking at your friend letting everything pour out of you in pure vulnerability. Then after 20 minutes of leaking it all out you say to your friend "I'm sorry for unloading on you, I'm sorry for talking so much". Naturally your friend is happy you trust them and will confide in them and usually will say "no I'm so glad you talked it out with me!". We apologize for 1) taking up space and 2) being vulnerable. Instead of using a "sorry" where it doesn't belong, try using a "thank you" instead. See how it feels for you and a friend to rather say "thank you so much for listening and holding space for me". When we unonsciously use 'sorry' for being vulnerable and taking up space in our lives (our birth right) we are putting limitations on ourselves that don't allow us to be fully in our power.
Moving us right into words that either bring us great Power or create great Illusions
7. I can't - "I can't play the guitar" well not with that attitude! Some might say this and it would be true. Our consciousness holds so much power, I'd go so far to say all the power, and if we affirm that we 'can't' do something, than we surely won't be able to. Try switching this to "I am working on playing the guitar" or even "I can't play the guitar right now". Adding 'right now' or 'for now' keeps things open and recognizes the temperance of all things on earth including what we feel we are unable to do. Or maybe you're working with "I can't say that" - the reality is you can say whatever you want and so it is just that; try replacing this terminology with "I don't want to say that". This will get you much more in tune with yourself and your power.
8. I am and my - "I am strong and kind" or "I am fearful and jaded". Both of these statements share an embodiment and association as we might identify ourselves as such. When we allow positive affirmations of "I am" fill our day, we begin to truly recognize our innate power and self as infinite spirit. The light and love we give ourselves daily with these I am statements drives us. The negative does just the opposite and propels us further and further into illusion about ourselves as we affirm we are fear, sadness, or disease. This goes the same for the use of 'my'; as in my anxiety, my trauma, my depression. This constant affiliation and identification with such stress again, instills that into our lives along with the illusion. When identifying what is yours, only state what is true: my power, my love, my joy. The rest is just part of the human experience and is not your pain, in truth all beings are healed.
9. I don't know... - This is probably the biggest one for me out of all of these and have to be the most conscious to actively change its dialogue. The awareness is that after saying things I truly mean, feel, and need to express, I will end with a quick "I don't know" and maybe segway into more profound thoughts that inevitably also end with "I don't know". It might be as innocent as using it as a filler "um" and I have heard people use it that way also. However, making what we say conscious and true for us is the practice here. Learning to trust what we think and feel as we express it is where the power of consciousness guides our lives. Say what you mean and mean what you say :)
Well, that's all for now! There are many other words that will come up and you may notice you have your own set of go-to vocab that actually isn't serving you. And it may not be serving others either. The point of this conscious vocabulary is to bring more awareness, expansion, and power into our lives. As we do this we naturally cultivate more compassion for ourselves, and in turn cultivate more compassion for others. Be loving, kind, and conscious.